Life plan: NEVER have kids!

So why are my pockets filled with a Lego head, a sticky gum wrapper, and a crumpled up dress from an abandoned Barbie doll?

It’s Kate’s fault. I fell ridiculously in love with her the first time we met, on a blind date in the middle of a March snowstorm. Kate, the love of my life, just happened to have a two-year old, and was hell bent on having child #2. It was a package deal, take it or leave it, all or nothing, you’re in or you’re out.

I agonized. I fretted. I abandoned my logical, rational beliefs and consulted a psychic–who told me it would never work. I was a wreck. I ran away to Bali to get away from it all.

In the end, I listened to my heart.

Things In My Pocket is about the unexpected treasures I’ve found along the way.

It’s also about coming to terms with my past. Turns out being a parent brings up unresolved trauma, big time. Like when I found myself repeatedly telling my young daughter, through gritted teeth, “No, of course I’m not mad at you!” 

And then realized, to my horror, that I was gaslighting her. Because in my childhood, it was never ok to be angry, or have any feelings at all. 

That’s not what I want for my kids.

I want them to feel safe expressing all their feelings, so I need to acknowledge and feel my own. 

I want them to grow up without the weight of taboo topics and family secrets, so I need to get comfortable talking about hard things. 

Most of all, I don’t want them to feel alone with whatever life throws at them. That’s why I do my best to face my own challenges with courage and integrity, so I can be there for my kids with a clear and open heart.